1 00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,088 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,302 Sam, let me have the TV control. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,555 - Hey! - What are you gonna watch? 4 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,850 There is something extraordinary on television right now. 5 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,101 What's up? We got a game on? 6 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,938 What is it, the Bruins? I didn't read anything in the paper. 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,154 I think the lady singing the anthem is loaded. 8 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,534 Diane, what the hell is this? 9 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,246 Wagner's Ring of the Nibelungs, the complete cycle. 10 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,832 Das Rheingold, Die Walküre, Siegfried, 11 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,834 and finally Götterdämmerung. 12 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,295 I hope they don't use that canned laughter. 13 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,801 No, Coach, it's not a comedy. This is opera. 14 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,136 I'll explain as we proceed. 15 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,972 Now, this is the story 16 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,808 of a golden ring with magical powers 17 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,060 that curses anyone who owns it. 18 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,562 Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait. 19 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,773 They had that same story on Scooby-Doo Saturday morning. 20 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,486 Yeah, yeah, but the dog sang a little better than that. 21 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:13,365 Come on, you guys. Now, give it a chance. 22 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,285 Now, the first three hours are devoted... 23 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,037 Hey, hey, hey! 24 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,916 I put up with your sporting events. 25 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,544 It's time that you return the favor. 26 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:30,090 After ten minutes, if you aren't totally mesmerized by its beauty, 27 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,425 I will turn it off. 28 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,511 - Ten minutes, huh? Okay. - Come on. 29 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,396 Very funny. 30 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,482 Culture's wasted on you. 31 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,359 Oxygen is wasted on you. 32 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,452 You know, that was not a very nice thing to do to Diane. 33 00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,620 Sam's got a point there. 34 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,747 - Well, she has watched a lot of sports. - Yeah. 35 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,874 All right, all right, let's give it another shot. 36 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,713 Coach, I'm gonna be in the back checking the wine. 37 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,005 Okay, Sam. 38 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,095 Would you like to join me? 39 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,931 It's quiet, empty, dimly lit. 40 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,559 Much like your mind. 41 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,521 So, what do you say? 42 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,607 Sam, you talk a lot about our having a dalliance, 43 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,902 but I've always been told that barking dogs don't bite. 44 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,821 Biting, is that what you're into? 45 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,491 Do you know what bothers me? 46 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,744 There are women upon whom this works, 47 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,121 and they're allowed to vote and drive cars. 48 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:12,878 So, what do you say? 49 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,758 Fred and Ginger are taking a little break, 50 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,510 but they'll be back to nauseate you later on. 51 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,184 Gee, Eddie, it really is... It's been nice talking to you. 52 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:31,271 By the way, Eddie, did I tell you that my wife passed away 53 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,522 some time ago? 54 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,107 Yeah. 55 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,028 Oh, well, thanks, Eddie, I really appreciate that. 56 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,988 Is your wife dead yet, Ed? 57 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,533 That's good, really. 58 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,328 Listen, Eddie, I wanna thank you for thinking about me. 59 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,913 And I'll get back to you. 60 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,080 So long, pal. 61 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,877 - What is it, Coach? - Pal of mine, Eddie Fuentes. 62 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,797 He manages in the winter leagues down in Venezuela. 63 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,926 He says if I can learn Spanish, he might have a job for me coaching. 64 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,969 You mean you're gonna return to coaching, Coach? 65 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,139 Yeah, Carla. Baseball's so much simpler than life, you know? 66 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,809 In baseball, I always know where I'm at, right? 67 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,228 We're up, I'm in the coach's box. 68 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,938 They're up, I'm in the dugout. 69 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,775 The game is over, I hit the head, get a cheeseburger. 70 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,987 - Sounds like a great life, Coach. - It's terrific. 71 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,323 You know any Spanish, there, Coach? 72 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,034 Yeah, Cliff, I took some courses for a couple of days 73 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,702 just to learn a few phrases, you know? 74 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,498 - Oh, yeah? Like what? - Like, "How tall is my dentist?" 75 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,875 And, "Is that really your sister?" 76 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,586 Just enough to get by. 77 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,051 - You're gonna do fine, Coach. - Thanks, Cliff. 78 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,808 Interesting, interesting. 79 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,727 That was Sam's brother. 80 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,479 He's on his way over. 81 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,022 - Sam's brother? - Yeah. 82 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,566 - Didn't know he had one. - Me either. 83 00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:00,193 - He didn't tell any of you? - Coach? 84 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,740 Did you know Sam has a brother? 85 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,411 Of course I know he had a brother. He hates him. 86 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,746 - Why does he hate him? - He was cruel to him. 87 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,583 When Sam was a kid, he used to shove his head under water. 88 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,752 Hey, wait a minute. That was my brother. 89 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,799 Come to think of it, that was my head. 90 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,971 Coach, don't Sam and his brother spend any time together? 91 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,223 They get together whenever he's in town, 92 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,975 but he's never been to Cheers. 93 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,603 Well, he's coming now, and someone has to tell Sam. 94 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:38,106 Let me do it. I'm a smoothie about breaking bad news. 95 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,906 - Yeah? - Sam, your apartment burned down, 96 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,283 - you lost everything. - Oh, my God. Really? 97 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,161 No, no, no, your brother's in town. He's on his way over. 98 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,829 It makes you feel better, doesn't it? 99 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,666 I hate it when you do that, Coach. 100 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,002 Oh, come on, Sam, it cushions the blow. 101 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,838 My brother's in town, huh? 102 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,591 I took the call. He was just leaving his hotel. 103 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,427 Oh, good. Did you tell him I was here? 104 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,889 Of course. I had no idea this would be a problem. 105 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,098 No, no problem. 106 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,143 My brother's coming over. I love my brother. 107 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,312 That's not what I heard. 108 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,398 Maybe you ought to step in here for a minute 109 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,859 and let me show you something I've triumphed over. 110 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,489 Don't tell me you've finally mastered the stapler. 111 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,451 Sit down, sit down. 112 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,161 See, what they were talking about out there 113 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,581 is I used to have this problem with my brother, Derek. 114 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,582 It was a kind of a... 115 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,460 What do you call it? An inferiority complex. 116 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:44,673 But that was a long time ago, and I conquered it. 117 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,174 Yeah, here it is. 118 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,971 Yeah, this is the guy that used to make me feel like nothing. 119 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,099 - Wow. - "Wow" what? 120 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,686 Well, he's very nice-looking. 121 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,772 He'd be even better if he had his two front teeth. 122 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,691 No, I blacked those out myself. 123 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,319 That was before I got over my problem. 124 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,656 The interesting thing here is that I didn't go to any psychiatrist. 125 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,116 I didn't read any of your fancy books. 126 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:15,370 I just sat myself down and said, "Hey, my brother's no better than I am." 127 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,790 I'm sure you're right. 128 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:23,420 - What does he do for a living? - He's an international lawyer. 129 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,588 Wow. 130 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,884 Hey, it so happens I come from a very intelligent family. 131 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,265 Yeah, I guess Derek does okay for himself. 132 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:39,394 He must make 50, 60 grand a year. 133 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,814 Are you kidding? Those guys make ten times that much. 134 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:43,940 Wow. 135 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,068 Yeah, but it's the... It's the job. 136 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,904 Last year, he traveled so much he had to buy his own plane. 137 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,322 What kind of life is that? 138 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,035 The poor wretch. 139 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,455 Who am I kidding? 140 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,832 The guy is better at everything than I am. 141 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,417 I mean, he's perfect. 142 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:06,755 Oh, Sam, he may be a man of some accomplishment, 143 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:11,551 but this all sounds like a younger brother idealizing his older sibling. 144 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,928 - You think so? - Sure. 145 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,597 He's just an ordinary Joe. 146 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,265 Can I keep this? 147 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,104 You must have a sense of humor about these things. 148 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,106 Yeah, maybe you're right. 149 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,068 I guess if I looked at it right, it could be funny. 150 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,194 Sure. 151 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,654 Maybe one less tooth and a mustache. 152 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,158 - Sam, nuclear bomb just hit Boston. - What? 153 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,243 - Derek's here. - Derek's here. 154 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,662 They're catching on. 155 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,748 Listen. Wait, wait. 156 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,501 I don't want you to worry about me. 157 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,963 I'm used to living around Mr. Wonderful all my life. 158 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,298 It's no big deal. 159 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:54,928 It's just that whenever he's in the room, I kind of feel invisible. 160 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,554 Oh, Sam. 161 00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,600 I don't pay you a lot of compliments, but I really don't feel 162 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,728 you have any need to feel inferior to anyone. 163 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,440 Well, thank you. That's very nice. 164 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,569 ...implore you 165 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,279 Nice voice. Who is that? 166 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,990 - Guess. - Oh, really? 167 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:21,079 I dream all day and nighttime 168 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:25,250 I want you for my lifetime 169 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,795 I love you 170 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:34,134 My sweetheart 171 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,721 Way to go, Derek! 172 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,227 - Can we get this man a beer, please? - I'll get it. I'll get it. 173 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,229 Oh, Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't see you. 174 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,953 Derek. Hey, Derek, how about a beer? 175 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,455 No. No, no, thank you, Norm. 176 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,086 What a guy. Can I catch a beer, Sammy? 177 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,797 Where are my waitresses? 178 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,966 I didn't have the heart to pull them away from the show. 179 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,634 - The show? - Yeah. 180 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,928 Derek's doing trick pool shots back there. 181 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,432 You must have had fun growing up with him, Sam. 182 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,558 Yeah. 183 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,311 Do you have any idea what kind of gift I could get for Derek? 184 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,608 - Gift? - I feel I should get him something. 185 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,776 I mean, the guy did get me a job. 186 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,237 He got you a job tonight 187 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,198 after all those months you've been looking for one? 188 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,409 Not just a job, Sammy. He got me a great job. 189 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,412 For the first time, I'm gonna have my own parking space. 190 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:48,166 Got a secretary, got a window for water bombs, 191 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,417 all the perks. 192 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,129 Well, good for you, Norm. That's great. 193 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,173 So, what can I get him? 194 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,925 I really don't care what you get him. 195 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,426 Get him a tie. 196 00:11:58,593 --> 00:11:59,928 Sure. 197 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,013 I wouldn't dare buy clothes for that guy. 198 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,806 He has his lint made in England. 199 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,851 Hey, Norm, Norm. Come on, hurry up. 200 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,436 He's gonna do some tap-dancing for us. 201 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:09,437 Is that right? 202 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,609 Hey. Hey, you two. Come on back here. 203 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,903 We got a rich guy tap-dancing back here. 204 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,842 Oh, Sammy. 205 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,596 Your brother is one good-looking guy. 206 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,517 Did you ever hear Derek say anything about being a sucker 207 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:51,604 for swarthy, fertile Mediterranean types? 208 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,983 - Afraid not, Carla. - Figured. 209 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,486 Let me have a couple of Heinekens and a couple of Löwenbräus. 210 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:03,032 So how come your brother has all that beautiful curly blond hair 211 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,784 and those deep blue eyes? 212 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,120 Are they blue? 213 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,538 Like Windex. 214 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:17,588 Boy, sounds like the stick lady's having a good time, doesn't it? 215 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,008 Was that Diane's laugh? 216 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,218 I thought they were killing chickens back there. 217 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,929 Yeah. You know, he really got to her 218 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,390 when he told her about that time in Paris 219 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,475 when he got drunk with Anaïs Nin. 220 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,396 - Wow. Really? - Yup. 221 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,899 I was hoping you'd know. 222 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,029 Yeah, Derek's always been like that. 223 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:45,616 Always had to have the spotlight, had to be the center of attention. 224 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,244 Yeah, well, you know, if it's any consolation to you, Sam, 225 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:49,620 I know how you feel. 226 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,498 I got a sister who's got me beat in every way. 227 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,043 She's 5'2". 228 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,630 Her husband never has a drink until noon, 229 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,299 and she's a beautician. 230 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,594 I mean, how do you compete with that? 231 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:11,809 But after a while, I said to myself, to hell with her. I'm me. 232 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,563 What you're trying to say is I'm as good as my brother. 233 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,066 Are you kidding? You're not even as good as my sister. 234 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,363 But I still like you best, Sam. 235 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,906 That makes two of us. 236 00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,742 Hey, Carla, wait a minute. 237 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:33,998 What do you think, you think Diane likes Derek? 238 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,250 "Does Diane like Derek?" 239 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,170 I don't know, Sammy. I'll pass her a note in gym. 240 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,589 Hey, no, no, come on. I'm serious. 241 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,801 I mean, I know what my brother's like around women, and I know Diane... 242 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,678 You know something, Sammy? I used to admire you. 243 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,598 But you know what's happened to you ever since she got here? 244 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,225 You've turned into a big weenie. 245 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,105 You're a dink, a wimp, a Fred, a loser. 246 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,565 Well, thank you very much, Carla. I was having a little bit 247 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,151 of a confidence problem, but that's been a real boost. 248 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,195 Well, you know, just a few weeks ago, 249 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:07,490 you were making time with every foxy lady in Boston, 250 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,367 on your way to legendary status. 251 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:13,496 I mean, Sammy, you were heading for the Hounds Hall of Fame. 252 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,958 Then Lady Fishface walked in the door. 253 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,420 - What's going on here? - I don't know, Carla. 254 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,879 It's driving me nuts. 255 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,298 Maybe she's playing hard to get, 256 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,593 but hard to get for me used to mean I'd have to sit through dinner. 257 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:39,564 Yeah, well, if you can't get to her, no one can. 258 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,025 - What about Derek? - In a minute. 259 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,572 But don't worry. He's got better taste than that. 260 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,365 Sam! 261 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,498 - What? - Your brother's teaching me Spanish. 262 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169 You're learning the Spanish language in one evening? 263 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,211 No, no, Sam. 264 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,887 Ernesto! Ernesto! 265 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,979 - Sam, want me to take the bar over? - No. No, I'm fine. 266 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,065 I get it, I get it. You'd rather be here when he's back there, right? 267 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,108 Yeah, something like that. 268 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,569 People don't have to draw pictures for me, Sam, 269 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,613 although I like it, but they don't have to. 270 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:51,177 - What's your order? - Oh, Sam. He's not that great. 271 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,931 The man can tell an interesting story, 272 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,600 he's met a few interesting people, but he's just a man 273 00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,520 like any other man you'd meet in Greek mythology. 274 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:07,068 - What's your order? - I don't have an order. 275 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,070 I just thought maybe you'd like to join the party. 276 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,404 I'll take the bar. 277 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,156 Come on, you go back there and enjoy yourself. 278 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,575 Wait. Believe it or not, Diane, 279 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,079 I'm having a lot of fun just being out here by myself. 280 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,208 I swear, it does not bother me that my brother's here. 281 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,710 - Really? - Really. 282 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,837 Well, good. 283 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,006 I feel better telling you about something. 284 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,220 Hey, hey, Derek wants a beer. Derek wants a beer. 285 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,846 Hey, I'm buying. I'm taking care of this. 286 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,682 No, I'm buying. 287 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:45,064 Sam. Sam, I love this bar of yours. 288 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,108 But you know the best thing about it? 289 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,609 - Its owner. - Yeah. 290 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,236 Yeah! 291 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,365 Thanks, Sam. 292 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,159 - Derek, one more game of pool? - You're on! 293 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,501 You were about to tell me something? 294 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,086 Oh, well... 295 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:12,008 ...Derek just wants to fly me out to Martha's Vineyard tonight. 296 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,054 In a plane or on his back? 297 00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,225 Well, he didn't say specifically. 298 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:25,354 Of course, he was all excited about the new Learjet he just bought. 299 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,815 But he just wants to show it to me. It's not a date or anything. 300 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,734 What if it is a date? It's okay with me. 301 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,155 Well, I just thought maybe you'd be bothered or something... 302 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,450 Bothered? Hey, I happen to have a date myself tonight. 303 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:38,784 It's a good night for it. 304 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,372 Okay, if you're sure. 305 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:46,751 Listen, I think you and Derek will make a great match. 306 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,462 - Really? - Yeah. 307 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,839 You both think you're perfect and one of you is right. 308 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,930 You know what your problem is, Mr. Malone? 309 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,476 - You are afraid of your feelings. - I am not afraid of my feelings. 310 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,144 I don't have any feelings about this. 311 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,481 Whatever you and my brother Derek wanna do is okay with me. 312 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,899 I don't care. 313 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,820 - Fine. - Please don't go. 314 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:16,697 What? 315 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,910 What did you say? 316 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,245 I said, I have no feelings about this. 317 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,874 No, no, after that, you said something. 318 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,377 It sounded like, "Please don't go." 319 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,420 "Please don't go"? Are you crazy? Come on. 320 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,881 Diane, you gotta get over this egotism of yours. 321 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,634 Hey, come on. Go. Go with my blessings. 322 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,260 Have a good time. Really. 323 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,683 Please stay here. 324 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,105 Wait a minute. 325 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:54,110 What was that? There, at the end, you said something. 326 00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,529 Hey, come on, you're hallucinating. Would you get out of here 327 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,988 and have a good time, please? 328 00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,407 Go on. Go on. 329 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,577 Okay, I'm glad you understand. 330 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,872 - You go, I'll die. - What?! 331 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,001 - Now, I heard you say something! - Hey, come on. 332 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:15,256 You're coming unglued. Please go. Have fun. Come on. 333 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,009 - Okay. I'll go. - There you go. 334 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,262 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go freshen up. 335 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,890 - I'd rather stay with you. - What? 336 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,058 What did you say? 337 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,396 I didn't hear anything. 338 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,655 Sam, what do you say we go to the Combat Zone and see a girlie show? 339 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,782 No, I got a date later on, Coach. 340 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,953 Well, maybe I'll go alone. 341 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,789 Coach, I'd rather you didn't. It's kind of a tough neighborhood. 342 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,249 I think you need some protection. 343 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,877 Gee, you're right, Sam. What do you say, Carla? 344 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,505 No, not tonight, Coach. 345 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,090 Oh, well, maybe some other time. 346 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,133 - Good night. - Good night. 347 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,428 - See you tomorrow, Sam. - Yeah. 348 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,224 Hey, Sam, want me to hang around till your date gets here? 349 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,601 No, you probably wanna get on home. 350 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,646 Are you kidding? It's 2:00 a.m. My kids might be there. 351 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:18,652 Sammy, would you just tell me one thing? 352 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,821 What do you see in her? 353 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,991 - Who? - Who? 354 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:27,536 The one who is off on a Learjet with your brother. 355 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,164 The one who can't stop talking? The geek? 356 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,794 Carla, I know she's not perfect. I know she talks too much. 357 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,837 And she's all those things you said. 358 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:41,425 But there are times when I'm with her, she just... 359 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,719 ...irritates the hell out of me. 360 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,181 That's what you're looking for? 361 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:49,934 - Maybe it is. I don't know. - Hey, I know what you mean. 362 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,269 You know, I'm always falling for guys I hate. 363 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:56,524 My whole life has been the wrong man at the wrong time and the wrong place, 364 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,442 with the wrong birth-control device. 365 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:10,788 Sam? 366 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:11,831 Yeah. 367 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:16,001 You ever thought, even for a minute... 368 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,295 ...about you and me? 369 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:20,589 Sure I have, Carla. 370 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:22,758 A recent minute? 371 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,596 Carla, I was always afraid you'd be too much woman for me. 372 00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:33,185 You're a wise man, Sam Malone. 373 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:47,741 Hi, Sam. 374 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:52,329 Oh, hi, Debbie. Boy, am I glad you could make it tonight. 375 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:53,998 Yeah, well, it really isn't very fair of you 376 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:56,208 to call me at the last minute like that. 377 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:59,336 It's a good thing my boyfriend's a heavy sleeper. 378 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:07,261 Well, I just didn't feel like... Feel like being alone tonight. 379 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,847 Well, what do you wanna do? 380 00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,516 I wanna do something with just the two of us. 381 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,603 I don't wanna think about anything or anybody 382 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,146 but the two of us all night long. 383 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:18,856 Wow.